Where Did My Happiness Go?

If you ask me to recount my happiest moments, my memories travel back to: (1) Playing in Mrs. Lopez’ kindergarten class; (2) Vacations with my parents and siblings; and (3) Becoming a mom. What do all these things have in common? I had absolute freedom from responsibility and judgement. No one expected anything from me, no external pressures were at play. As a child in kindergarten my only job was to play and color in the numbers and letters. Vacation’s only demand was to unplug from the daily grind. As for becoming a mom, it was my greatest dream come true - you notice I didn’t say mothering because that part comes with the inevitable judgement from friends, family and even strangers.  

Welcome back to my weekly blog. I pray my words reach those on a quest for happiness. May it serve to support and encourage you.  

Psalm 1: “1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. 4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away….” 

Psalm 1 is often referred to as a wisdom psalm because this scripture teaches us that happiness results from our choice to live as our Lord has called us to. It warns of the 2 paths life offers us: (1) A life of goodness and peace if we choose to live as we are called to (“but whose delight is in the law of the Lord”), or (2) Conforming to the patterns of this world (“…step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers”) in which we become misled and ruined with gossip, jealousy, hatred, showered with constant doubt over who we are. It is in these gushing waves of life’s darkness that we surrender our own happiness.  

How do we then plant our lives so we may sow and reap a happy path? The degree to which we suffer is a choice, and how much we resist determines our state of being. Happiness is a mindset before it is a feeling. It comes by way of our choices. You don’t find it, you create it. The problem is that we don’t always do what we should do for ourselves, we do what the world around us tells us to do. We quickly conform to the patterns of the world, yet true happiness awaits. Happiness is a skill; we can exercise these muscles. Here are some ways: 

Embrace Your Past – Your past is not an indicator of your future.  (Ephesians 1:7, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.”) God's grace is biblically defined as, “undeserved favor”-  grace cannot be earned; it is something that God freely gives us all. Release your past to Him and delight in His ways. He waits for you. David (son of Jesse, King of Israel) is the ultimate example of God’s unmerited favor. David lusted, stole, fornicated, lied, and was a murderer and yet, God saw his heart and loved him. David loved God, he just made some pretty terrible decisions in life but he always turned from his sin and repented. David’s prayers in Psalm 51:1, reads, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. God forgave David. That’s grace!  

Praise – Praise is a potent and restorative tool. It refocuses our affections, realigning our priorities, and restoring our souls. Our spirit becomes receptive to receiving God's Holy Spirit. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans 14:17. Therefore, our joy comes from the Holy Spirit living in us and working in us, let us praise Him. 

Mindset – Be intentional about keeping a positive mindset. Believe that all things will work for your good no matter the circumstances. (Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”) A great example in the bible of turning things for good is seen with Joseph. His own biological brothers sold him into slavery during a fit of jealousy and hatred. As a direct result, Joseph ended up becoming one of the most powerful men in the history of the nation of Egypt God turned what his brother meant for evil, to good.) One day, as life would have it, his brothers stood before him in trial, they were terrified of the potential for revenge stemming from the horrible wrong they committed against Joseph. But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Genesis 50:18–20. 

Gratitude – Practice gratitude. Research shows that practicing gratitude — 15 minutes a day, five days a week, for at least six weeks can enhance mental wellness and possibly promote a lasting change in perspective, it creates a positive energy cycle. (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”) Hannah praised and gave thanks even in the midst of adversity. She was desperate to have a baby, she poured out her soul to God, begging for His intervention. Finally, God answered her prayer, and she gave birth to Samuel. 

Community in Christ - Surround yourself with believers with strong roots in faith so that in your moments of need, you may lean in and borrow their faith.  (1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up.) The paralyzed man bible story, of a miracle from Jesus, tells how Jesus forgives and heals a paralytic. The man was brought to Jesus by four friends who lowered him through the roof of the house where Jesus was teaching.  

Create Healthy Habits - Smile often - it tricks the mind to believing you are happy. Focus on your present - enjoy every moment, it’s a gift. Reap the joy and lessons from life - build endurance. Send someone an unexpected kind text – start a wave of gratitude. Take time to always add value to others - generosity is proven to improve health, enhance happiness, gives us an emotional boost, lowers stress and improves relationships. 

Let us pray, “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13.) Amen!  

If you are ready to find happiness, learn more about these and other tips and meet your potential, I am here to guide you on your path to happiness. Click HERE to book your life coaching session(s) today.  

Blessings from your life coach and friend,  

Isabel Plasencia