From Friendships to Faith, Building & Deepening Relationships

When I was young my mother used to always say, “Be careful who you call a friend’. Another memorable saying was, ‘Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.” Lastly, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” I will admit, I reached a point I didn’t want to hear it anymore, I wondered why my mom was always saying that, and suddenly, life hit, that is, I grew up and got a taste of reality.

Welcome back to my weekly blog. I pray my words bring you inspiration and motivation in the answers you seek in your relationships. Perhaps you ask yourself, why don’t they work out? Why do they betray me? Why do they always leave my life? Why can’t we get along? The questions and mysteries of people and life can be endless. I pray this leads you to your one true friend that will never leave you, nor forsake you and brings you peace and endless wisdom.

When I was young, friendships and relationships were easy. My friends were those who wanted to go outside and ride a bike, skate, jump rope, play video games. In fact, I was full of friends, all the kids in the neighborhood were my friends. I was ignorant about the family feuds that happens in the best of families. So of course, I wondered what my mom was talking about. Then, I grew up and life’s trials and tribulations started to knock at my front door. Each stage of life brought many highs and lows – marriage, career, pregnancy complications, children, the empty nest, illness and loss. It is in these moments we need our relationships most, but they weren’t all always there anymore. In these moments I reflected on these words, ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:’ (Ecclesiastes 3:3) I started to lean into all of the wisdom my best-friend bestowed unto me, to bind around my neck and I started to make sense of my mom’s words, or shall I say, wisdom?

My mom would remind me of 3 things when relationships let me down: (1) Do not repay evil for evil; (2) Live by the golden rule; and (3) Encouraged me to find gratitude and fulfillment in having found my best-friend, “because some people never find it”, she would say. As I grew older I became intentional about living out the golden rule (Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31). Some folks in my life attributed my behavior to a philosophical nature called, ‘The Law of Attraction’. The law of attraction suggests that similar things are attracted to one another. It means that people tend to attract people who are similar to them, it also suggests that people's thoughts tend to attract similar results. The 3 main components most people know of the law of attraction’, are: (1) Asking, (2) Believing, and (3) Receiving. However, my best-friend always told me, ‘And all things, whatsoever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.’ (Matthew 21:22) Thus, call it philosophy or call it scripture, the truth is that we are leaning into scripture and embracing our faith when we are believing for all we ask. ‘According to your faith, shall it be done to you.’ (Matthew 9:29.) When I asked my best-friend about the behaviors I should continuously and intentionally exhibit, He reminded me to, ‘Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.’ (1 Thessalonians 5:11.) When I asked Him why people kept leaving my life He told me, ‘Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ (1 Corinthians 15:33) He also said, ‘For I know the plans I have for you.’ (Jeremiah 29:11) When I struggled, he said, ‘We walk by faith, not by sight.’ (2 Corinthians 5:7) When I asked Him, what could hurt and destroy someone, He reminded me, ‘He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.’ (Proverbs 20:19) He said, ‘A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.’ (Proverbs 16:28) and, ‘…don't reveal the secret of another, lest he who hears it reproach you, and the evil report about you not pass away.’ (Proverbs 25:9-10) One day I confided in my best-friend of how tired I was, facing disappointment and betrayals in life. ‘What do I do?’ I asked. ‘Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.’ (Colossians 3:13) I would definitely stipulate that to forgive does not mean you have to keep that person in your life. Sometimes we are best suited loving from afar. ‘Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.’ (Proverbs 13:20)

By now you have gathered who my best-friend friend is, He whom never disappoints, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. ‘The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’ (Deuteronomy 31:8) Scripture taught me how to be a friend and deepen relationships. We must learn to exhibit the behavior we wish in our own lives, ‘A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…’ (Proverbs 18:24)

Do you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, children, parents, friends or maybe you want to repair a relationship? Together we will take the first step in improving your relationships. Jesus calls us to love one another, to love everyone as Jesus loves us, by giving of ourselves. We often run into trouble in life, especially when we assume that love is an emotion that we can turn off and on, love is intentionality. I will teach you how to strengthen trust. By the end of our time together, you’ll be well on your way to building and deepening relationships and selecting good friends. You’ll have less anxiety and more security. Together we can foster a place where you will feel heard, supported, and encouraged.  A place you will come to love yourself and love others. If you are ready, I am here for you, click HERE to book your life coaching session(s) today.

Blessings from your life coach and friend, 

Isabel Plasencia